Thursday, September 30, 2004
well. today was kinda irritating n dumb day. let's see wad went wr0ng.
scho0l.
err. slackk. had a dumb dumb assembly. sat there till 1435. the longest assembly ever. haiis. den aiai came to my house. wait till i got changed. den headed down to her place t0 wait f0r her to get changed. later then headed d0wn to tm. scho0l tmll will be much relaxing bahs. l0ls. n0t much of w0rk. hahas. oh shit. f0rg0t i needa d0 my art. l0ls~
on e` way back.
oh man. my life reali sucks 360 degrees upside d0wn. hahhas. had pr0blems wif him. shant g0 into the lo0ong details. its irritating even if its just to think abt it. l0ls. lotsa things he said kinda hurts. ask aiai. she knows it all. hahas. till i g0t h0me, was still settling the matter wif him. super c0ck up. life sucks.
h0me, n0w.
just fnshed t0king to him on the f0ne. he wasnt alrite if i'm n0t wrong. and n0w i found out m0re things. the l0wer sec are the bitchy ones wh0 g0es ardd ka mine n aiai's lj weii. dumb BITCHES.
t0 th0se bitchy l0wer sec bitches of c0mpassvale secondary wh0 are reading my bl0g. please get tis clear f0r once and f0r all. i dun b0ther wad u say behind me. and who the fuck you are. but all i wanna tell u bitches is tt, stop discriminating pple when u n0e nth abt them, esp me and cristal. st0p thinking so highly of urselves. u only have the right t0 discriminate us if u urself is 100% perfect. but too bad. g0d made n0 one perfect. s0 no one has the rights t0 discriminate us. s0 all these bitches, st0p ur crap. if u wanna c0ntinue wif all these stuff which will d0wn grade ur image, den g0 ahead. immature dumb bitches. and u guys definitely deserve the title "immature dumb bitches" cos u guys act tt way. bitch. bitches are s0 mature, den fucking g0 think abt wad u say when u badm0uth others. st0p saying others flirt when u urselves d0 the same thing. BITCH.
yeahs. s0 aiai, u've g0t the picture clear? hahhas. nevermind. i w0nt entertain such bitches. they are only out to spoil my reputation. i dun care. i dun give a damn abt it. i live my own life. i own my life. i choose my way of living it. i'm not those who cant live without guys. i'm not those sort. so only u bitches who cant think properly and maturely, will think otherwise. dun ever let me hear any of those bitches bitching abt me or cristal in school. i wont let them off. i'll make the issue big. complain to my parents. and have my dad coming to school to lodge complain. i wont make life go0d for them. they dunn0 where they stand. they are dumb`bitches. l0ls.
yeahs. must complain. l0ls. and from tmll onwards. i see them bitching abt any of my good frens, i wont let them off. i've got my way to settle tis kinda crap. so dun let me catch u bitches doing dumb things. its still the best to noe where u stand and how jialat u wanna die. i wont make life easy for those bitch. they are just a bunch of brainless creatures. dumb`
hmm. tts abt it bahs. g0nna go take a break fr0m the c0m. feeling damn sick. running fever. haiis. well. take care guys. nites.
from today onwards, i'll never let anyone off if they are part of the bitches. letting them go is putting harm to me, myself and i. bitches`sucks.
[[ 319 days. its my life, my way of living it. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/30/2004 09:11:00 PM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
err. well. i dunno wad to blog today. l0ls. let's see.
scho0l.
very slackk. sibeii sians. lols. miss ye0w n mrs chew were on mc. slackk. thruout the whole day. all less0ns did nth but w0rksheets. yeahs. den yinhui t0day kena al0t of things. she super auntie sia. keep g0ssiping abt others. j0leen t0ld us tt yinhui t0ld her tt l0tsa peeps dun like her. den l0tsa peeps t0ld us tt yinhui owaes spread rum0urs abt others. abt me to0. s0 me n aiai went up t0 her ask her why she keep spreading rum0urs abt others. she die die os0 deny. s0 bitch sia. hurr~ well. just realised me n aiai reali think alike. l0ls.
h0me.
c0me home. slackk. den went out wif dad n br0ther. wenta make specs. hmm. like my new specs. g0nna c0llect it on sat. yeahs. came h0me. called him. den he sians sians de. haiiyers. dunn0 what is his problem. haiis. g0nna call him later. haiis. well. g0t w0rk t0 d0. math n dnt n g0tta revise f0r ge0g test tmll. haiis. sick. l0ls. well. tts abt it bahs. take care guys. muacks..
i haben been feeling very well.
feel down.
who's there.....
[[ 318 dAys. wad's wif me. princess n prince* ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/29/2004 09:06:00 PM
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
well. its once again the mid-autumn festival. as well as its my mum n dad's 25th anniversary. how sweet. a quarter of the century haf past. and they are still together. may them last happily together till death do they part. well. back to the mid-autumn festival. lotsa peeps went out to celebrate. but poor me is now at home blogging. lolss. poor thing enuff bahs. so lonely nehs. all alone. for the first time didnt talk on fone. darling's at seashell park with dj, weecheng n ruiyang. dj n junior's not there. hahas. missed the cuties.. =p
the moon is definitely very round tonite. but i've got no chance to see it. my house cant get any view of the moon. lols. well. grandparents over at my house. they seemed happy. and i'm glad too. =) grandma say i've grown taller. hahas. but still as quiet. lols. had dinner just now. but wasnt happy. bitch's ardd. how sad. i hate to see her. she's sucha bitch.
feeling rather sadd. hahas. dunno why. i reali haf no idea. hahas. perhaps. i dunno. i'm afraid my mood swings are back. or are always there. but i didnt notice it. i'm worried. well. shant talk abt it. today is suppose to be a happy day for me. first, congrates mum n dad, 25th anniversary. second, me and aiai jiemuii 1314. and of cos not forgetting my darling who's been there for me for the past 10 months and 10 days. thanks love, muacks~
well. currently tuning into my personal playlist. l0ls. the song's Gam Sum Tai Doy Lei by Ekin. its in cant0. nice, but sadd. the tune and everything is just so god damn nice. but its kinda sadd song. well. nice song. very nice. before tis, the song's in my playlist was Why Goodbye by Christian Wunderlich. and finally before that was Alicia Keys' If I Aint Got You. well. sad sad. songs so sadd. the top 3 songs tis week are Gam Sum Tai Doy Lei, Jie Kou and If I Aint Got You. so radio w0rrs. l0ls. saddened`
hmm. tts about tonite bahs. thanks for tuning into... err. oh god. i'm at a loss of words suddenly. lols. well. stop my crapp. take care guys. enjoy urselves! loe you guys. muacks~
[[ 317 days. its my life. my way to live it. love u honey. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/28/2004 08:40:00 PM
didnt bl0g ytd. c0s wasnt in the mo0d to use the c0m. l0ls. first time in my life. muahahs. hmm. let's start fr0m ytd.
2709`04.
err okies. was in darn go0d mo0d. went out wif darling. was t0tally crazy. l0ls. didnt see a d0c. acc0mpany him t0 sgh d0wn at outram. to0k number 12 d0wn. was like an h0ur plus ride? yeahs. den fnsh seeing the d0c, to0k number 12 back t0 pasir ris l0rhs. den met deejay. den saw his 2 d0ggies. one humji kia. one fierce de. but. 2 were still y0ung. 2 little cuties. carried the humji one ytd. he was trembling like crazy. hahas. his name is dj. and the fierce one is called juni0r. 2 cute little things. things!?!?!? hahas. they were indeed very l0vable. l0ve them l0ads!!!! heehes. den went h0me. came h0me. bathe, eat. den called darling. chatted f0r 2 to 3 h0urs. den wenta sleep. ytd was great. we b0th enj0yed it. hehes.
28`0904
scho0l. err. very slackk. tts all i cud say. but still fell aslp in kumar's class. l0lss. den during ge0g. sth happened. cos thru0ut the wh0le day, was sitting wif aiai. den crap the wh0le day l0rhs. l0lss. den suddenly, s0me upper sec guys threw water b0mb t0wards my class. and br0ke a glass panel of the wind0w. luckily n0 one g0t hurt. but jingwen g0t real sh0cked. thus, he was quiet the wh0le day. l0tsa tchers were surprised tt he was quiet, but n0t until they f0und out wad happened. yeahs. tts abt it l0rhs.
aft scho0l.
went heartland mall. b0ught hairband. den to0k ne0s. l0ls. n0t bad narhs. hahas. den was planning al0t of stuff. like.. are we bo0king chalet f0r the end of this year and s0 l0rhs. den was bitching ab0ut j0lene n tt few l0rhs. oh yarhs. saw farliana-jie at the carpark t0day. as usual. she waved. s0 went up and exchanged a hugg. jashawn tt few was there to0. kinda sh0cked. l0ls. den talk f0r a little while. den me and aiai make our way t0 heartland mall le l0rhs.
h0me.
g0t h0me at ab0ut 1615. was kinda sians. l0lss. didnt n0e wad t0 d0. was waiting. still waiting f0r 1740 to c0me. s0 tt i can call darling!!! hahas. yeahs. well. guess later will be d0iing my newspaper rep0rt. make ge0g n0tes f0r tis week s.t.. den slackk bahs. l0lss. oh yarhs. i've g0t l0tsa nkf v0uchers. and there's v0uchers t0 escape theme park and wild wild wet with 40% disc0unt. ka0s. tts damn cheap l0rhs. hahhas. sure g0 there aft my exams de. l0lss. talk abt aft exams my heart itchy. l0ls. reali cant wait f0r the h0ls t0 c0me. i needa break f0r tis year. hahas. 2 m0nths break. muahahs. but needa g0 back f0r netball lehs. sick. lidat i cann0t d0 manicure le. sia0s lia0s. hahas. den planning f0r chalet to0. and s0me stay over at frens place or s0me crap like tis. hahas. den might be g0ing ubin wif darling and his mummy. l0lss. mayb only. n0t c0nfirm. hahas. hmm. tts abt it i guess. reali cant wait f0r h0ls!!! c`m0n. may time pass faster. l0lss.
take care guys. l0ve ya. t0nite's mo0n will be r0und. s0 d0 take n0tice. l0lss. miss ya. muacks~
[
missed you`]
at
9/28/2004 05:17:00 PM
Monday, September 27, 2004
Alicia Keys' If I Aint Got You
Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby
[
missed you`]
at
9/27/2004 10:54:00 AM
Sunday, September 26, 2004
hmm. it's an0ther sunday. a bo0oring day. l0lss. i guess it w0nt be s0 b0ring 1 or 2 weeks later bahs. hehes. c0rses g0nna start so0n. yippies!!!
slept ab0ut 4 plus. w0ke up 6 plus. sat at s0fa there. thinking. den mummy ask me g0 back rest. den w0ke up at 8 again. hahhas. think over l0tsa stuff. hahas. g0t clear of many thingy. but. there's isnt any right answer to it. cos it was all my way of thinking abt it. yeahs. think think think. den called him at 12plus. he sounded pissed. s0 hung up. den called back at cl0se to 5pm l0rhs. haiis. talk talk. den he think otherwise. den he was pissed again. den called back at 6pm lidat l0rhs. lame sia. l0lss.
tts my day l0rhs. did nth. but slackked. watch tv. den watch tv. den watch tv. hahas. reali g0t nth t0 d0. msn os0 sians. frenster os0 sians. urghs!!! den n0w gonna g0 d0 h0mew0rk lorhs.. hahas. dunn0 tmll wan g0 scho0l or n0t. n0t feeling very well. haiis. and scho0l tmll w0nt be any go0d. m0nday blues~ hahas. haiis. sians sia. well. i fnsh my h0mew0rk. tmll m0rning den see wanna g0 scho0l or n0t. hahas. well. g0nna g0 den. g0 d0 c0mp0 le. bubbuais~
things seem fine in between us. but.. still n0t c0nfirm. l0lss. just g0tta wait and see. hahas. well. tts all. nites. muacks~
[[ 315 days. with you. cries, tears, laughters, joys. mixed up.. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/26/2004 08:37:00 PM
Saturday, September 25, 2004
today sucks big time. was alone since 1230 in the aftn till 2 plus in the aftn. all al0ne. life sucks.
met him. didnt talk much. like i say. today sucks. and through out this whole blog, it'll be so fucking damn sucks. we meet. didnt talk much. didnt talk all the way till aft movie. watched a nc-16 dumb action show. resident evil: apocalypse. dumb show, cos i hate action movies. l0ls. aft m0vie. walked all the way back t0 pasir ris. thru our was fucking damn quiet. i didnt talk. he didnt talk. and i mean reali didnt talk. den walked to white sands. kena dua sec0nd time. den took bus home later lorhs. reach my area. finally got talk. but. ended up more jialat. fucked up sia. i hate it. den i reach home. he now dunno at where oso. dunno he take bus oreadi or not. or still ardd my area. i dunno what's his fucking problem. when i got back normal. den tis kinda thing happen. hahhas. i guess i reali sinned too much. and now's my retribution. god loves to see me suffer. and now. i'm gonna say it out loud. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT ME. NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ME. u said u care. but i cant feel it. if all u could say is that u see me being unhappy with u, and the way u can see me happy is to leave me, go ahead. i'm gonna tell u once and for all. u're the dumbest guy i've ever seen. to leave me, u'll just make me hurt more than usual. and if u loves seeing me getting hurt, den leave. i dunno why. but all my love ones love to see me left bhind being hurt. this is all my fault. its all my fault.
everything was a mistake from the beginning.
i was never meant to be loved by anyone.
why tell me u love me....
why let me fall in love with you.
my love life has never turn out well.
you said u're different from him.
but why are you showing me the otherwise?
forget it. i'm tired of thinking le.
if u still think tt its u who makes me upset, den leave.
since u love seeing me cry.........
life sucks. i sucks..
[[ 314 days. i just realised i sucks so much... ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/25/2004 10:19:00 PM
Friday, September 24, 2004
hmm. its friday.. hahhas. was h0me earli yeahs? l0lss. well. was back h0me 10 minutes bef0re 1900.. hahas. hmm. g0t my hair cut. l0lss. dearr says its nice. mummy says its nice. phebe says its nice but lian-ish. l0lss. i'm glad its nice. and of cos. i love it!! hahahs. at first i tot it wud turn out to be like shit. but. well. lucky the outc0me isnt tt bad as i first th0ught it wud be. hehes.
scho0l.
hmm. scho0l mahs. n0t s0 badd bahs. hahahs. had the usual less0ns. music, english, art n math. oh man. i failed my math again. 4/10. l0lss. my math reali cann0t make it. muahahs. sia0s lia0s. hmm. slackked during english n music. art mahs. hahhas. n0t badd. kinda funny. me n aiai keep ka jia0 tt fo0ng. l0lss. aiai keep telling fo0ng she l0ve her. but fo0ng says she's crazy. hahas. actuali fo0nd isnt tt badd. she is kinda nice to be ardd wif. l0lss. aft scho0l, wenta cp check the hair price. aiai n grace dua me. si dua kang. hurrs~
h0me.
came h0me and slackk. munch on s0me stuff. den went out le l0rhs. hehes. den c0me h0me again, was sh0wing off my hair. l0lss. den bathe. munch abit. den slackked. yeahs. b0rred. w0ndering wads my plan f0r tmll. hahas. w0nder if tmll is a nice or b0ring day. haiis. hmm. well. n0t much of w0rk. english c0mp0 and math exercise. g0nna start on it so0n i guess. need s0me time f0r revisi0n.
hmm. aiai's crazy abt her lil kiat kiat n kel kel. l0ls. and yupps. they are b0th cute cute de. i agree. l0lss. hhahas. see which one u like den go attack. okies? hahhas. u h0rss. sibeii jialat. XD
g0nna go den. feeling sians. take care w0rrs. muacks~
[
missed you`]
at
9/24/2004 07:53:00 PM
Thursday, September 23, 2004
crying is wad i've been doing.
tears are wad i found falling off my cheeks.
tissues are wad i need to wipe them away.
life's reali getting tough on me. everyday i'll face sth i dislike so much. every day which pass by let me know sth i dun wanna noe so much. everyday i've to face sth tts gonna break my heart. why?? why is god so cruel to see me suffering from all the pain here?? if god is bear to make me suffer from all this pain, i beg god to bring me up to him and stay by his side. at least tis will save me from all those pain.
life's meaningless for me.
there's no point living anymore. isnt it?
well. i once again feel tt i reali haf no one there who cares for me. i'm feeling darn neglected. it seems like i'm lacking of frens, isnt it?? l0lss. or perhaps just like wad he've owaes said. its not tt no one cares for me. is just tt i dun wanna take notice of them. how could i take notice when i seriously haf no one who cares for me?? life sucks for me. i dun understand why god put me here to let me suffer. i reali dun understand. mayb god loves to see me suffer. l0lss~
l0neliness is wad i can find in my dictionary.
darkness is wad i'm gonna see in my life soon.
well. sat is another lonely day. not meeting darling. cushh he w0rking at tt funkey bo0th f0r his sister. and to meet up with his secondary scho0l fren. yupps. den s0metime so0n or later, he's flying off overseas again. yeahs. yupps. well. it might be go0d f0r him to g0 overseas bahs.. but still haf n0 idea where he's heading t0. hahas. yeahs. l0nely yeahs?? l0lss.
my face's still wet.
not sweat.
but my tears.
well. for the frist time i'm feeling so heartbroken. so pain. my heart seems to shatter into so many pieces tt i cudnt recognise it. i'm feeling pain. reali pain. i wanna talk to someone so much, so urgently. but i cudnt bring myself to do so. i dun haf the courage to. its reali hurting me so so much...
there's no one i can trust. is there other than him, him and just him??
my heart is reali shattered. there's no way anyone can mend it.
i havent felt like tis bef0re. why?!?!?!?!?!
what's happening?? god, please answer to my prayers...
i'm in so much pain. who's there to keep the pain all away from me?
[[ 312 days. love = sweet, spicy, sour, bitter. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/23/2004 07:18:00 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
err. well. t0day n0t s0 badd bahs~ but n0w. err. feeling neglected. i dunn0 why. hahahs. i'm having weird feelings. i'm sick~
scho0l.
hmm. sians. hahahs.. scho0l's b0rred everyday. l0lss. hmm. was hiding n running all ardd like mice the wh0le day. l0lss. when t0king on the f0ne during lunch break, nearly get caught by ah w0ng. lucky when i hang up, she was t0king wif s0me other tchers lerr. hahas. hmm. den tt sec 2 malay c0unsell0r s0 bitchy sia. she chased me n cristal for the ear sticks. and i reali mean chased. urghs~ so sickening yeahs? hmm. den m0ther t0ngue class change sitting arrangement. n0w class m0re spaci0us. l0lss. but. wad's sick is tt, i'm sitting wif sebastian again!!!! oh my g0d.. why i s0 sway de. math sit with him f0r 3 terms ler. den n0w m0ther t0ngue sit wif him. sick nehs.. urghs~ dumb tchers!! l0lss... den aft scho0l, wenta tampines t0 meet dearr....
tampineS.
err. sat ardd a c0rner at near tampines sec. or ish tt ch0ng cheng primary or wadsoever scho0l?? den t0k t0k. den i attitude. dun wanna t0k. l0ls.. but in the end g0t back okays lerr. haahs. we damn lame lame de. l0lss. hmm. tts abt it bahs. den to0k number 3 back. wenta slackked. den wenta the sh0pping mall. den g0 h0me lerr. den dearr played ball until 2100 den went h0me l0rhs. haiiy0s... still tell mummy g0 h0me earli. l0ls..
h0me.
did nth but slackked. l0lss. had many things t0 eat w0rrs. ch0c0late, co0kies n s0. l0ls. g0nna be a fat fat pigg lerr. oink oink~ l0lss. hmm. den n0w dearr bathing. haiis. s0 sians. n0 one peii w0 tok tok de. l0lss. hmm. btw. g0t new news lerr. my dance course starting on either the 3rd october or the 10th october. haiis. still say end of oct. sickkening nehs. haiis. just realised i didnt revise much. only did science n ge0g. sians 1/2. needa get pple peii w0 go revise lerr. haiis. hmm. might n0t be meeting dearr tis sat. cushh he might be selling the funkey card at d0wnt0wn east f0r his sister. haiis. hmm. can see bikini babes w0rrs. l0lss. hmm. yupps. t0ked abt bikini babes. i'm g0nna g0 suntan so0n. once my tummy is flatter n firmer. l0lss~ i see my b0dy feel weirded. l0lss. 2 diff c0l0rs nehs. haiis. hahhas. hmm. wad else?? just cant wait f0r h0ls. wanna g0 enj0y myself. wanna exercise. needa g0 f0r c0urses. th0se sickening c0urses.. l0lss. wadd else?? there will be netball training in the h0ls. haiis. l0tsa things c0ming up during h0ls. haahs. hmm. but wadever is it. i'm g0nna plan f0r studies n0w. need time t0 study. haben even study f0r tmll's m0ther t0ngue standardised test. sia0 lia0s. haiis. hahhas.
well. tts abt it bahs. g0nna g0 den. needa d0 science. l0lss. sure get sc0lded by w0ng de. haiis. sians. kkkies. go0d nites den. wanna rest earli t0nite. damn tired.. hahhas. take care guys. muacks~
[[ 311 days with you. i'll stand by you ALWAYS, rest assured. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/22/2004 09:59:00 PM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
scho0l.
b0red. did nth much. was reali a sickening day. l0lss. hmm. sh0wed my pics t0 the girls. they say it doesnt look like me and..... i lo0k old.. s0bbs~ ca0 la0~ hees =X hmm. aft scho0l, wenta c0mpass p0int t0 get ear sticks. hahas. tmll's wednesday. stand a damn high chance of being caught. l0lss. well. aft scho0l, saw farliana-jie at carpark there al0ne. saw her. s0 she waved n went up t0 her. talked f0r awhile. and g0t t0 n0e many stuff. jolene n jie no l0nger frends. cushh j0lene made jie her scapeg0at. den j0lene wenta rep0rt t0 tcher and say jie threaten her. urghss~ well. and bc0s of tis matter, jie n liping's gonna get expelled. ka0s. wad a suckie scho0l. the scho0l owaes listens t0 one-sided st0ry. h0w crapp. they're n0t expelled
YET. but oreadi under suspensi0n. n0 w0nder i n0 l0nger sees them in scho0l for 2 t0 3 days ler bahs. s0bbs. just h0pe they will be fine. *cr0ssed fingers* aft toking, went off l0rhs. yeahs~
h0me.
came h0me aft i b0ught earsticks. hmm. very guai. den called darling. talked f0r abt 5 minutes or lesser, den he g0tta g0 back t0 w0rk. den i slackked. and fell aslp until ab0ut 6pm. w0ke up called dearr. my mind wasnt clear. the feeling's like i've g0t hangover. l0lss. but certainly n surely, i didnt take in any alcoh0l!! hehes. den didnt talked pr0perly. s0 dearr decided t0 hang up. he was kinda pissed at tt time. and i didnt b0ther much. cant think straight yeahs? den didnt c0ntact him at all. until he just msged me abt 45 minutes ag0. yeahs. hmm. haf been thinking abt wad kumar has said during cmE less0n. haiis. its all ab0ut
stress. well. i faced quite of the few symptoms listed f0r being
stress. l0lss. haiis. dunn0 larhs. mayb bahs. mayb i'm reali stressed up. to0 tired lerr. h0w i wish i can slp one wh0le day l0ng. haiis.
well. guess tts all ab0ut t0day. nth much ler bahs. g0nna g0 den. i'm reali f0rtunate t0 haf at least a diary t0 be therre f0r me 24/7. i reali feel much better aft thr0wing everything in there. phews~ go0d nites den. take care frens.. muacks~
world's smallest dog is only 18.8cm n 850g!! cute ehs?
but. neglected is wad i feel.
my life seems to be unable to brighten up anymore..
are you there for me??
i need you...
[[ 310 days with you. will you be with me till death do us part? ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/21/2004 10:16:00 PM
Monday, September 20, 2004
scho0l.
scho0l's per n0rmal. just didnt feel slpy at all. aiai's not in scho0l. monday blues bahs.. feel t0tally sickening in scho0l. eyes were red and watery when i came t0 scho0l. sh0cked huimin n chrystle. i'm surprised tt they are sh0cked. n they are surprised wif my sudden change of mo0d. they t0ld me n0t t0 fake my laughter n smiles when i actuali cant bring myself t0 smile or t0 laugh. but. wad else can i d0? t0 sulk the wh0le day? n0. i w0nt. i'm glad they at least knew i werent alright.
h0me.
r0t my day off since i g0t h0me. just felt like crying. but didnt. i will n0 l0nger be tt weak me anym0re. i'm em0ti0nally str0ng n0w. n0, i'm n0t. i realised tt i'm n0t and i never will. haiis. i just feel s0 al0ne. s0 al0ne... needed t0 be l0ved right at tis m0ment. but n0, i cant. there are just to0 many things i've asked f0r. perhaps tt is why i can n0 l0nger see wad i wish f0r appearing bef0re me. the feeling is utterly terrible when u needed the one u love to be right beside u just to hug u and they are not there, not even close to u.. the feeling sucks. i began to feel so sour inside me. i dont feel wad i used to feel. i feel different. lotsa things are different. am i the one changing or are they the ones? i've got no idea. i just needa think it out properly... yesterday nite was so very sweet. i haben had tt feeling for quite some time. i'm glad i had tt feeling once again. but today. all i cud do, all i wanna do is just to cry n cry n cry. i dunno why. but my heart's telling me to cry. my heart's telling me to cherish. but my heart's oso telling me there's a possibility i'm not gonna pull through tis problem. my heart's telling me tt i've had enuff of all these. my heart's telling me to stop...
haiis. gonna go den. i wont spend much time in here. for i noe its not gonna help much to0. take care guys..
the feeling is utterly terrible when u needed the one u love to be right beside u just to hug u and they are not there, not even close to u..
[[ 309 days with you. nv gif up on me, i need to rely on YOU.. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/20/2004 07:52:00 PM
Sunday, September 19, 2004
haiis. just another sickening sunday. sundays are owaes sickening for me. only until my exams are over. sundays might be enjoyable. might be only yeahs??
well. slackked whole day. reali b0rred. i hate sundays.
i feel neglected.
i feel lost.
i no longer know who i am.
i myself is not sure what i wans in life anymore..
[[ 309 days. 10 months 1 days. our l0ve. our st0ry. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/19/2004 09:26:00 PM
well. g0t h0me at ab0ut 12am bahs. yupps. den bathe. den called dearr. he just g0t h0me. haiiy0s. hmm. yesterday, or shld i say ab0ut an h0ur ag0 was the very last m0ment of our 10 m0nth anniversary. yeahs..
tis anniversary was filled wif tears n sadness. not all the time we were like tis. but m0st. s0me little times were happy. i dunn0 h0w t0 say it. but. t0day was reali a day where i get t0 n0e many stuffs. feeling happy tt i g0t cl0ser t0 dearr a little. n i get t0 n0e him a little bit m0re. but s0rry. the pms part, i ap0l0gised. f0rgive me okies?? s0rry dearr.
well. met dearr. wenta white sands f0od c0urt t0 eat lunch. i didnt eat. den headed d0wn t0 err. t0wn. yeahs, t0wn. wenta c0llect my pictures. den slackked at t0wn area. wenta cine den t0 ps. tried t0 help aiai find her playb0y wallet?? but cudnt find it. s0rry. den slackked. den wenta tampines. den had dinner there. but only me. haiis. tt part, i w0nt g0 int0 details. was sadddd. hahas. hmm. den dearr send me h0me. slackked at ro0f garden a little while den i c0me h0me lerr.
yupps. tats abt it bahs.. hmm. tis is the r0ugh one. will update m0re tmll. jie wanna use lerr. nites guys. take care~
happy 10th anniversary dearr!! i l0ve you. muacks~`
[[ 308 days wif you. sweet, sour, bitter or spicy, will be there for u. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/19/2004 12:50:00 AM
Friday, September 17, 2004
muahahas. my 2nd entry of the day. u guys shld noe how i'm feeling right now =)
hahas. yeahs. told ya gunbound was deleted from my computer bcos of my er jie. but i guess u didnt noe i could dl it so quickly again bahs. so... hahas. see ya in gb server 11. so sad huhs?? hahas. aiai must be thinking tt i'm sarcastic. well. i'm not. i'm not sad at all. get tt clear okies? =) hmm. instead, i'm feeling rather glad. at least i get to know wad is going on exactly. hmm. below is roughly wad happen larhs~
he saw me, i saw him. den i log out. and log in again. but too bad. he was out then. den i msged him n asked sth rather dumb, but i feel tt it could make someone noe tt i wasnt how i sound like. u're out of gunbound so fast? he replied he expected tt i'll go in n crap. den he said he actuali wanted to tok to me, but i logged out too fast. den i replied. oh. ur logging out skill damn fast oso hors? den he said tt he dun wanna explain cos he knew tt i wont believe it anws. den i replied. oh okies den. forget it. den a msg received. it wrote there didnt expect you'd lie about deleting your account. hahs. at tt moment. i was bursting into laughter. if he didnt want to play gunbound, den why must he be so particular abt me deleting gb?? hahhas. so i replied very harshly i guess. 'for your info, i didnt lie about such stupid things. i downloaded it back again. its up to you to believe it or not. but i doubt you will =)' i ended the msg wif a smily face. hahahs. and there isnt any more replies.
well. how crap is tis? please rate. from 0% to 100%. please tell me how lame is tis. hahas. okies. enough of the crapp. speaking frankly arhs.. for the very first time, i reali am not angry over tis kinda LAME stuff. hahahs. and i just found out how LAME i was all along, to get angry over tis kinda LAME stuff. hahahs. i just found out tt i finally could become more matured. by not getting pissed over these LAME stuffs. its not worth my time to get pissed abt. its just simply wasting my time if i were to sit down there and get pissed. hahahs. i could do sth much more worth doing than to sit down and get pissed. hahahs. i've bec0me cleverer as well. w0ws~ just from tis, i learnt s0 s0 s0 much things i shldnt haf waste my time on. hahahsh.
okies larhs. tis is apart from my crap. u told me tt u'll not touch gunbound unless i'm playing as well. i oso told u tt u'll suffer, cushh i wont be going in gunbound often. it'll reali be once in a blue moon u see me in gunbound. but u told me tt its alright. its fine with u. so i took n mark ur words. but u broke ur promise not only once. tis is not the first time. and i'm not sure tis is the how many times. just tis week, u told me at tampines on thursday tt u was in gunbound a few days back. tt was the first time. n as far as i noe, tis is the second. so. i dunno. perhaps u'll think tt i'm dumb to be so calculative abt these LAME stuff. but right, i'm not the only one who quarrels bcos of gunbound. the previous time we broke up is oso bcos of gunbound. one mistake in not more than one month ago caused us to break up n let me haf a rough judge of how much i can trust u. tis second one allows me to further judge how much more i can trust u. i'm not trying to say anything beyond the words or wadsoever. i just wanna let u noe how i feel overall abt all these LAME stuff. yeahs?? but there's something i would definitely believe which i myself say of all. u dont trust me AT ALL. hahas. yeahs. tts wad i truely believe. once, u hurt me so deeply by not trusting wadever i've said. though i said it over n over again. u hurt me so deeply tt night. n just say a simple 'sorry' the next day. up till now, when i come to think abt it, it still hurt me as much. and now. i've said the truth which is, gunbound was reali deleted from my comp. n i downloaded it again for all kinda reasons u can think of. like i say larhs. i hate repeating myself over n over for so many times saying the truth. so, its reali up to you to believe it or not. whether u wan to believe me or not, i'll not haf any say in it. cos tt is when i can reali noe how much u've trusted me. in another words, how much u truly love me. well. why wud i say tt? its all bcos of sth u've said to me the other time. Love is mainly made up care n trust. Without one, love cannot exist. i'm sure tis u remembered. so now, see the link btween not trusting me n not loving me truly??yeahs?? haiis. well. tis entry is getting far too lengthy. all tt i wanna say, i've said it all out. so. yarhs. there's nth i wanna do abt it from now on. not even the apologising part nor the explanation part or wadsoever okies?? i'm tired of listening to apologies. its all empty words i guess... so save it =)
"dun bother finding any reasons for not trusting me. u urself have never trusted me, u noe it very clearly yourself. from now on, i'll noe how much you've trusted me n how much you'll be trusting me. for months you told me u've trusted me oreadi, but a little. u said u need more time. but now i noe u've never trusted me. u gave yourself away. i'm not gonna apologise abt it. cos i noe it very clearly tt i'm not in the wrong tis time. and i'm very happy abt one thing. and tt is, i'm not pissed at all when i see u in gunbound. not even a little pissed. cos finally, u showed me how much i could trust u. if u cant even do tis small little thing to make me trust u tt u wont play gunbound unless i play with u, den i dunno how i'm suppose to trust u. and i'm not the one who say tt u cant play gunbound unless i'm playing too. i'm not the one okies? u said tt urself n u cant do wad u've said."
there's nothing in btween the lines for tis whole entry. so. no worries. and i totally didnt mean to make u look bad or wad. tis is just how i feel. okies? yarhs. with tis, i'll end. its getting real lengthy!! nites guys. gonna start sorting things out. hahhas~ muacks~
[
missed you`]
at
9/17/2004 11:54:00 PM
hmm~ feeling rather happy.. hehes. cos its just another few m0re h0urs t0 darling's n my 10th m0nth anniversary. wo0s~ excited nehs.. hahas..
scho0l.
err.. lemme recall. well. n0thing much happened t0day. me n aiai s0t s0t lerr. hahas. tts wad i n0e. erm.. music was n0t bad t0day. watched the b0nd's c0ncert n the 12 girls china band's vcd?? yupps. very nice. hhahas. very fierce w0rrs. b0nd played the violin, viola n cello until the strings like wanna break wanna break like tis. l0lss. hmm. aft music was english. was slackking. cushh was intellect l0g-on day. my grp n zisheng's grp didnt perf0rm. m0nday den our turn f0r presentati0n. had s0me time reading mem0irs of geisha and had myself laughing at the grps perf0rming. was kinda lame ya n0e. l0lss. den had art. me n cristal cheat ms fo0ng's sweets. hahas. lame sia.. den drew the sweet. fo0ng said it was t0 prepare us f0r the end-yr exam de. hurrrs~ kkies. den math was relac to0. f0r a wh0le h0ur, we revised on chapter 13 on our own and had class test. den went off ler.
c0mpass p0int.
wenta cp aft scho0l wif grace. on the way, we sat at one bus st0p and re-tie my sh0elaces. hahahs. den wenta cp n slackked till 1400. den i to0k bus h0me l0rhs..
h0me.
slept was the first thing i did. actuali wanted t0 use c0mputer de. but den.. fell aslp while waiting. hahahs. slept till 1700 lidat. wake up. use c0m. called dearr at cl0se to 1800. until n0w. i'm still slackking my day off. haiis. th0ugh w0rried f0r end year exam. but i seriously dun haf heart n mind t0 study. haiis. dunn0 wad's keeping me fr0m studying t0o. haiis. w0rried* err. h0ttest news. jq n zhan br0ke up lerr. haiis. t0day supposedly is their 3rd m0nth anniversary. but they br0ke up 2 days back. haiiy0s. well. wasnt very sh0cked. i l0ng ag0 expected tt they'll break up n0t l0ng aft they g0t t0gether. n0t t0 curse or wad. but jq d0esnt haf her heart all with zhan. th0se wh0 kn0w her, will n0e. haiis. well. go0d things always c0me t0 an end. tis is wad dearr t0ld me. hahas. haiis. jialat larhs. hmm. well well. guess i'll g0 off ler bahs. nth much t0 bl0g abt os0. yeahs. hahas. sth seem t0 be flo0ding my mind. but i seri0usly haf n0 idea wad is it. feeling rather terrible n0w. cushh i myself haf n0 idea wad is tr0ubling me. haiis..... w0ndering, thinking real hard wad is it tt c0uld be tr0ubling me once AGAIN. i'm sick of all this crap le. tis is n0t the time all these tt is occupying my time. oh g0d!! i need help larhs. haiis. tr0ubledd`
[[ 306 days... with you... just with you... only you... ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/17/2004 07:41:00 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
yeahs. was r0tting at h0me since 5plus. -.-"
scho0l.
well. still quite alrites bahs. did sth lame t0day. came t0 scho0l wif a t0tal clear mind. nth was in it. hahas. every0ne said i wasnt my usual self. hahahs. well. n0t feeling well bahs. n0thing t0 w0rry about. hmm. skipped netball meeting. asked cindy. she said its ab0ut the attendance thingy. l0tsa pple haben been attending netball practices. yeahs. haiis. hmm. was released at 1330. no assembly. hahas. aft scho0l, wenta tampines t0 find darling~
aft scho0l.
err. met darling. den he wenta eat. den we went walking ardd. got his test tube thingy. hehes. den wenta find singtel and everything. settle darling's thing at tampines. den dear ni took no.3 actuali wanna send me h0me de. but in the end. we alighted at haising there. i needa use t0ilet. hahas. d0ne wif the t0ilet, we walked t0 central. tried looking f0r mummy's f0ne. first, look f0r it at the handf0ne sh0p right beside 24h0urs. den dun haf. den darling was thinking hard where else in pasir ris haf handf0ne sh0p. den i t0ld him t0 try the new handf0ne sh0p. g0 there, reali f0und out tt mummy's f0ne was s0ld t0 tt sh0p last nite. haiis. when dearr n0e, he darn pissed. den wenta call mummy. den walked wif darling t0 his h0use there. den he walked me t0 the opp. bus st0p, den i to0k bus h0me l0rhs. yeahs. reach h0use area, g0t d0wn at k0ufu there. wenta get sth light t0 munch 0n. hehes. nice w0rrs~ =PpPp
h0me.
came h0me feeling very full th0ugh only had one chinese fried stuff t0 munch on. skipped dinner. hehes. reali to0 full t0 eat anym0re thing. hahas. hmm. den slackked till n0w l0rhs. n0 h0mew0rk. tts why my life s0 relax. hahas. n0 larhs. there's math test tmll. sibeii sians sia. but nevermind. tis chapter shld be able t0 c0pe with de bahs. hmm. den until n0w, darling still n0t d0ne with the handf0ne case yet. its been like. err. cl0se t0 6 h0urs le?? oh okies. perhaps i shldnt think to0 much. just wait f0r his msg or call bahs. hahas. hmm. wr0te aiai a testim0nial to0. hehes. lame larhs. read her bl0g. she said she've edited her pr0file again. s0 i g0 drop her an0ther n0te i wud say. rather than t0 be like others. hahas. c0s fr0m wad i n0e, the others wud be g0ing 'hey, help me write testi lehs.' hahash. isnt testi referring t0 guy's testicles(sp??)?? l0lss. tt owaes make me burst int0 laughter when i sees it on frenster or wadsoever crapp. hahas. hmm. well well. a 'testi' was requested by many diff pple. but to0 badd. i've g0t n0 time f0r tt yet. mayb g0tta wait till exams are over yeahs?? hahs. haiis. say about exams over. haiis. c0me t0 think of it, i'm rather headache abt h0ls nehs. cvss cl0ses on the 29 oct. its so far the earliest date i've heard from my frens. well. hols wud be b0rred if i were t0 r0t at h0me f0r a few days bef0re i meet my other frens. haiis. there's a plan which is 100% certified c0mfirm lerr. hahas. tt is to go out wif aiai to do hair n to go relax. and perhaps a day or 2 to go work off s0me fats. and mayb, mayb only. we're g0nna sneak int0 a pub. but n0 c0nfirmati0ns t0 tt. but i d0ubt tt we'll be able t0 get in. unless wif companion l0rhs. but i reali d0ubt any0ne will bring us in. hhahs. s0 well. there g0es tt plan. *poof* hmm. well well. n0t only we can enj0y ourselves thru tt way. there're many other ways. isnt it? hahas. wanna meet up wif my dearly natalie and joyna. yeahs. wad else?? who else.. hahas. as f0r my la0g0ng, n0 worries. sure g0t time to entertain him de. hahas. i'm owaes there f0r him yeahs?? hehehs~ kkies. i shld get a little serious here. hmm. cant think of anym0re peeps lehs. sians. hahas. well. surely g0nna haf a chalet de. f0r one nite or tw0 os0 go0d. but i guess i must bo0k asap bahs. dec h0ls owaes very fast n0 ro0ms de. den we're g0nna party all nite~ hahas. okies okies.. tts a little to0 farr. g0tta wait. wait till exams result c0me out first den t0k. haiis. stress. hehehs. well well. guess tonite's entry is a little too lengthy. gottas go le bahs. ahash. take care guys. muacks~
[[ 305 days with you, you, you, you, you , JUST YOU. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/16/2004 11:24:00 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
well. was back h0me fr0m the new sh0pping centre bhind the bball c0urt bhind my h0use at ab0ut 1900+ bahs. yeah. came h0me aft eating. hmm. didnt eat much. was full. hahas. came h0me, called dearr. but n0 one picked up. den wenta bathe. den use c0m. den saw le0n's msg in frenster. hahas. den lidat l0rhs. den chatted wif aiai online. still chatting. ahahs. hmm. she t0day very caring w0rrs. muahhas. yeahs. den she's urging me t0 g0 clubbing. hahash. she's crazy abt clubbing. well. den she's now hair-ing. keep asking me if she shld rebond the whole head again or just the front. den ask me to go do hair extensi0n. haiis. she s0ts lerr. hahahas. well. i may be cutting V-shape first. den when hair much longer den i'm gonna do ceramic curls. yeahs. see how larhs. wanna change my hairstyle. it looks total equal length now. haiis. well. tts abt it bahs. gonna fly back to the m0rning n aftn0on n0w. muahahs~
m0rning.
wake up wif a bad headache. went back t0 bed aft i hanged up wif huimin. slept till m0rning 9am. den start revising hist0ry. aft revised one chapter f0r abt an h0ur, i'm tirred and slackked till 1pm.
aftn0on.
den went t0 the d0cs at 1330. reached there at 1410 lidat. den fnshed wif the d0cs at 1510. saw a guy wh0 seem familliar t0 me. den when dearr came. it turn out t0 be dear's fren. hahas. aft seeing d0c, wenta seashell park t0 get sth t0 drink. den dearr walked me t0 haising's bust0p den went h0me.
yeahs. tts abt it. my day. sians h0rs? hhaas. dearr to0k 2 days leave. and he's sick. haiis. po0r thing. haiis. well well. g0nna st0p here. n0 h0mew0rk t0day. co0l~ well. take care guys~ muacks~
[[ 304 days wif u. sweets, love, sweets, love, sweets n love!! ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/15/2004 08:19:00 PM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
well well. hahas. just d0ne changing my bl0g s0ng. hahas. fr0m m2m's pretty boii t0 Five for Fighting's s0mething ab0ut y0u. yeahs. nice s0ng yeahs? ahahs..
scho0l.
b 0 r e d ~ hahahs. yeahs. hmm. feel like slping. tts all. hahas. shag~ hmm. during kumar's less0n was fun. th0ugh we had 2 h0urs straight of math. but.. hahas. 3d made a fo0l out of themselves. jiaha0, kelvin, chi ke0ng tt few l0rhs. d0wn there sh0uting and screaming machiam they kena rape like tt. hahas. at first kumar didnt b0ther. but they c0ntinue it f0r abt 15 minutes. kumar cudnt bear wif the n0ise and went out the class and sh0uted opp. and warn them to st0p sh0uting. hahs. tts was funny. kumar was saying tt she feel tt she's in an insane scho0l wif insane animals. l0lss. hmm. den during pe, me and cristal s0ts de. use badmint0n racket and shuttlec0ck t0 play g0lf. hahahs. lam0~ hhahas. hmm. was laughing like crazy bitches. den chi ke0ng n jiaha0 st0p by aft their pe less0n was over. they b0ught drinks and sat on the bench facing in my directi0n lo0king at my class. den when me n cristal bec0me s0ts s0ts, they started laughing. hahash. tt was funny. hhahas~ aft scho0l, went h0me l0rhs. guai bahs~ hehehs.....
h0me.
slackked since i reached h0me. later g0nna g0 d0 h0mew0rk le. hahahs. den revise a little of hist0ry. haiis. tmll wednesday. s0 stress. g0t hist0ry. haiis. g0t science. haiis. g0t the subs i dun like. hurrs~ well. f0ne being c0nfiscated again. sucha crapp. sucks man. g0nna be with0ut f0ne fr0m tmll onwards f0r a sh0rt time. zZz~ well. go0d os0 larhs. i can study mahs. den h0rs. os0 w0nt get caught if i get checked by the sickening tchers or counsell0rs. yeahs. anws. waiting f0r sunday. g0nna g0 up t0 meritus mandarin h0tel t0 c0llect my pictures. hahahs. co0l~ hehehs. well well. there's l0tsa things waiting f0r me t0 d0. sians. hahas. well. tts abt it bahs. g0nna g0 lerr w0rrs. t0nite will be simple bahs. d0 h0mew0rk, slackk. den slp. hahas. hmm. bel0w ish my must-d0 list.. urghs~
#01. to finish revising history by week 2 wednesday[[220904]]
#02. to finish revising chinese by week 2 sunday [[260904]]
#03. to finish revising dnt & art by the 3rd week [[031004]]
#04. to finish revising lit & math by 4th week [[101004]]
#05. to finish revising english by [[111004]]
week 1: 13 sept 04 to 19 sept 04
week 2: 20 sept 04 to 26 sept 04
week 3: 27 sept 04 to 03 oct 04
week 4: 04 oct 04 to 10 oct 04
well. tts abt it bahs.. hmm. well well. den i'll be going off le. gonna start doing my homework le. nites nites. sleep earli worrs. rest well. muacks~
[[ 303 days wif YOU, just YOU. be it happy or sad, I LOVE YOU. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/14/2004 06:54:00 PM
Something About You by Five For Fighting
i don't know where to begin.
i don't know how to get out there to see you.
i don't know where to dig in.
i don't know how to get in there to feel you.
it's been too long and.
i'm about to be in time for me.
it's been too long and i'm in time, i'm in time.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
i never thought i would win.
i never thought much about that.
it's been a long time coming~
i never stopped to begin.
thinking about the process.
it's been a long time coming~
it's been too long and i'm about to be in time for me.
it's been too long and i'm in time, i'm in time.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
i'm gonna be there.
be there. alright~
i don't know where to begin.
i don't know how to get out there to see you.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
baby there's something about you that.
i can hold on to what.
gonna hold on to that.
it's been a long time coming~
i'm gonna hold on to that...
[
missed you`]
at
9/14/2004 06:29:00 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
well. how shld i start?? hahas. hmm..
scho0l.
m0nday blues~ yeahs?? hahas. scho0l's t0tally b0rred. n0 mo0d f0r bo0ks and i'm glad the tchers understand it. my class didnt had a very t0ugh day in sch0ol t0day. i'm glad. reali glad.. i l0ve my tchers yeahs?? hahas. g0t n0t much of w0rk. but even if had, i guess its just f0r an0ther one or tw0 weeks bahs. needa prepare us f0r end of year exams yeahS?? i'm w0rried. i'm scarred. haiis~ its just one m0nth m0re bef0re paper 2 starts~ and less than 3 weeks paper one starts. panic~ urghs!!!
aft scho0l.
wenta tm. c0llect my test tube thingy. was reali cute. den g0t one f0r dearr. yeahs.. hahs. hmm. den wenta mac and slackk. den abt 1630, we to0k bus back t0 scho0l. wenta scho0l. d0 dnt. watched jiaha0, brand0n tt few played bball. den junxi0ng [[ aiai's n0. 1 hate de guy ]] was playing wif water gun. squirting water at us.. tt includes gen, grace, alicia, joleen and me. den sitting on my right was s0me of the 4 kings, karha0 and s0me upper sec guys and s0me sec 0nes. yeahs. all kena water nehs. stuppid. hahahs. i sat ardd f0r abt 1/2 h0ur den i went h0me lerr. sibeii sians ehs? hahahs.
h0me.
use c0m. slack. bathe. and rested f0r awhile. while dear was j0gging in the evening, i was slping. didnt msg him until he msged me l0rhs. c0s i was t0ld tt i'll receive msg aft his j0g. tt was abt 2000+ plus. yeahs. haiis. den t0k on f0ne wif him, just hung up wif j0yna and huimin. hahas. co0l. just n0e tt i haben d0 my chinese yet.. hahahs. prepare t0 die. N0. i've g0t the title and everything. and tt st0ry left me a very deep impressi0n. i'm sure i can summarise tt st0ry bahs. hahas. yeahs?? haf c0nfidence. hahs. well well. tts abt it bahs. hmm. g0nna g0 off den. wanna g0 wash up and start d0iing my w0rk. feeling sick n0w. as in, reali sick. was sneezing since m0rning. cann0t make it w0rs. hahas. kkies~ off i g0 den. take care guys. nites~
well...
u left me wif such...
shld i say problem or mem0ry??
i've got myself thinking..
still thinking...
perhaps like wad i reali am..
i'm paranoid...
am i??
i dont know..
well. i'm causing problems for myself.
[[ 302 days of sweets and loves. wif YOU. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/13/2004 10:02:00 PM
Sunday, September 12, 2004
well. just g0t h0me 2 1/2 hours ag0 nehs. hahas. stay overnite wif darling last nite. hahahs. den fr0m c0me h0me till n0w, slackked l0rhs. sibeii sians. headache sia. i think fnsh bl0gging i g0 slp awhile. damn tired. didnt reali slp last nite. hahas.
110904`*
hmm. well. met dear at abt 1300 l0rhs. at whitesands mrt int. den headed d0wn t0 tampines mall first. g0t my test-tube thingy. hahahs. s0 cute w0rrs. hehes. thanks dearr** hmm. den wenta craftV to take out my ear stud f0r the 4th piercing. was reali tight and my ear's swollen. so didnt wanna make it bleed. hehes. so ask tt guy help me take out. aft tt. we wenta find atm machine. den dearr wenta food court at cs to eat. den i had carrot cake. i wasnt very hungry yeahs?? aft eating, we wenta to0k train d0wn t0 aljunied. and den... hahahs. well. shldnt g0 int0 details larhs. it'll be very l0ng winded de. hahas. hmm. den we left aljunied area den went back t0 tampines. cushh needa meet jes. den to0k cab d0wn. den reach there le, we wenta eat y0shin0ya. wo0~ was damn filling nehs. sibeii sians. hahahs. den met j0han's fren's br0ther. den eat eat, t0k t0k. fnsh le, den walk ardd. slackked. t0k crapp. and everything. den ardd 2130 jes c0me out ler. met her f0r awhile. helped her change her n0se stud. den wenta walk walk wif her f0r awhile. b0ught a bum equipment denim sh0rts. hahas. co0l. the last piece w0rs~ muahahs. hmm. den jes went h0me wif her mum and br0ther. den i and darling slacked at tamp bus int the mac there. den abt 2330 went up to cinema. catch Anacondas and the hunt for the blood orchid. hmm. not badd a show bahs.. hahahs. actuali wanna watch The Terminal de. but.. well. all the time slots were full. so didnt manage to catch it. sadden. but nevermind. hahas. by the time we fnsh the movie, its abt 0130 le. den went back to aljunied l0rhs. den slack there. eat. slp. slack and all kinda crap larhs. was very c0mfy nehs~ hahas. i'm blessed. hahas. hmm. den was wif dearr all alone until today aftn. den went h0me l0rhs. yeahs.. hhahas. hmm. dearr shld be happy bahs~ hahahs. =)
hmm. well. aftall, its not bad at all. hahas. hmm. enjoyed myself.. realil. thanks dearr. hmm. msged darling, he was slping. but i didnt n0e. didnt dare t0 call him. i'm afraid he was reali slping. s0 went int0 gunb0und. saw him online. but tt was j0fri. s0 asked j0fri t0 ask darling msg me when he wakes up. hahas. well well. tts abt it bahs. yeahs~
hmm. t0day the last day of the sept h0ls le. s0 sadd. cant slack anym0re. sadden nehs. hahas. hmm. well. frm tmll onwards, i'll be studying hardd le. end of year exam is still abt 1 month 1 day away. s0~ g0tta revise hard and study hard!! just cant wait f0r all the exams t0 be over and 1 m0re week of less0ns aft tt, will be our scho0l h0ls!! on 291004. ahhas. i'm waiting f0r it. i'm waiting f0r it!! hahahs. yo0 h0o~ hahhas. okies okies.. think i'm just to0 tired. wanna restt. go0d nite frens. hahas. take care w0rrs. h0pe u guys enj0yed the h0ls. i did enj0y mine. hahas.
miss my darling. l0ve my darling. muacks muacks~ i love u la0 g0ng~ hehes =p
[[ 301 days of sweetness, bitterness n love. i love u baby~ ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/12/2004 04:00:00 PM
Friday, September 10, 2004
well. earli morn woke up got changed. wenta school for math remedial. was kumar's assistant cushh her pet, jannath wasnt in school. hahhas. how sad?? even her own math rep didnt turn up for remedial. but no point too. she will be excused. owaes!! hurrs~ hmm. she was like saying whoever who didnt turn up today will get punished. hhhas. lam0. hmm. aft remedial. wenta cP wif chewsian, vivian, siew gek, heather and suat qun. hmm. talked our way there. slackked. den meet mua family at the mrt there. den headed down to chinatown's restuarant for lunch. aft eating, went walking, shopping at suntec. den slackked. den went home. er jie's bdae mahs. hahahs. hmm. den lidat lorhs. hahahs. come home. gave dearr a call. was worried abt him the whole day. since ytd actuali. but if wanna be more accurate, more exact. its the day when i get to noe abt his family problems. haiis. well well. didnt hear much from him today. guess he wasnt in the mood to tok oso bahs. his parents just bailed his brother out from amk police station. mum was sick ytd. and he is sick too. haiis. well well. i dunno. geting real frustrated. just wanna stop thinking. my head hurts. wad i wan now, is just tt he recover asap. and stop having those bloody problems. and to exchange for it, i'll give my life.
and to exchange for it, i'll give my life...
[[ 299 dAys of hAppy tiMes sp3nt wiF y0u.. ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/10/2004 10:51:00 PM
Thursday, September 09, 2004
well. hahhas. did nth much today. was doing mua math den slackked. left wif chinese lorhs. l0ls. didnt n0e i was so efficient yeahs? hhahas. den aft doing math, read memoirs of geisha. indeed a nice book. not done reading it yet. but the first 10 chaps are reali nice. i guess i reali love reading biographies of other pple. books like 'a child call it', 'the lost boy' from dave pelzer reali get my full attn. hahahs. hmm. wondering. why the hell am i toking abt books?? hahhas. uh oh~ i reali study too much nehs. hehehs. okies. there's remedial for math tmll. how sadd. cannot make it n0rrs~ friday den haf remedial. why cant she be more considerate?? let us rest one day more before we calls an end for the sept hols. haiis. saddened. l0ls. well. g0t my exam time-table. 0410 is my paper 1 for english and chinese. 1310 is english n chinese paper 2. 1410, ive got mathematics paper 1 and history. 1510, there's science and geog. there's 2 days of break. 1810 i've got lit. 1910 there's mathematics paper 2 and art. lastly, on 2010, i've dnt. uh oh~ if i were to start countdown now, i realised i arent left wif much time lehs~ hahas. today's the 9th of sept. its just another 25 days more and my exams officially start!!
well. toking to mummy n0w. tok to her from head to toe abt me and dearr. from i noe him. till we stead. till the first kiss. to the first quarrel. to the first of many things. and.. of cushh abt ytd's matter. ytd. me and darling went separate ways for tt 12 plus hours. n he called to patch in the aftn. actuali last nite, abt 1/2 hr we broke up, he msged to ask for patch. but i didnt decide. cushh. i reali haf no idea of wad to do. i love him alot, i reali do. but is he being fair to me when he ask for a break up bcos of a bloody dumb game?? hhaahs. well. u guys shld be able to judge yeahs? well. had a nice time toking to her. reali felt much better. she was giving all kinda advices. break-ups larhs. cherish properly larhs. all those kinda things. den ask me to find proper frens. but where on earth do i go find frens? haiis. well well. i felt much better. and tts for sure. hahahs. hmm. well. ive gotta think over lotsa stuff tonite. as i'm adviced to. hahahs.
hmm. called natalie just now. hahhas. had a nice time toking to her. reali nice one. though its just tt 20 mins tok. hhahas. get to noe more abt wad's happening to them now. well. joyna and shing jiuan still cant stop bad-mouthing each other though they're like glue in school. both bcome ah lians. cannot make it. haiis. saddened lehs. why cant they be more determined like in the past?? they've now being influenced. joyna is acting very slutish. having many boifrens and dumping many of them at the same time. well. i wudnt wanna think abt how shing jiuan is oso. i guess hers is much more shocking. hmm. heard nth abt eileen. but guess she's attached now too. hahahs. nat and clara are no longer in contact. i was surprised. hahhas. they used to be close frens in pri school. owaes gossiping. hahhas. hmm. den heard abt jessica and shirley too. well. tt cutie pie. shirley mahs. still as small size and thin. jessica?? well. not much of diff as well. and lastly, came my darling!! natalie. hahas. well, she's a ger i totally cant live without. i've loved her so much in the past and i still love her now. missed her like crazy yeahs?? hmm. she was complaining abt tis and tt. and we both were laughing thruout. we're nv lack of things to tok abt, to laugh abt. hahhas. she's reali the best. hahas. love u babe. [[if only u noe yeahs?]] l0ls~ well. might be meeting wif her for movie. might be only. no confirmations. sobbies. yeahs. she's reali a great ger larhs. hahas. hmm. reali hope tt i can meet up wif her lorhs. miss her loads yeahs? c=
well. called dearr. toked for awhile. mum's injured. gotta take care of her. she's a little stubborn. didnt wanna go to the hospital. haiis. just hope they could talk her round and go to the hospital. hope she'll recover soon. god bless~
haiis. abt dear. he wenta see doc today. doc say he's suffering frm depression. haiis. might needa go for counselling yeahs? hmm. mayb going for counselling is good bahs. at least he could talk everything out. he no longer have to bottle everything deep inside his heart. the feeling is terrible. so, i guess its still good for him to go for counselling. since i myself, as his gerfren oso cant help to make him talk to me. haiis. hope my dearr will get better soon~
well well. today's entry is a little long. no idea if i'm happy or sad. just emotionless. hhas. well. gonna go den. do some other things to occupy myself. tmll's school. sick!! hahhas. well. take care guys. hope u guys enjoyed the hols. i'm still waiting for saturday to arrive. hahhas. nite nites. muacks~ love natalie!! love dearr!! love u guys~ =)
[[ 297 dAys of swe3t mem0ries wiF y0u ]]
[
missed you`]
at
9/09/2004 09:58:00 PM
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
well. spent the whole day revising my geog. its tiring. geog arent easy to revise ya noe. hahas. well. aft revising, called dearr. tok for awhile. he wenta play gunbound. i arent happy of cushh. so well, cy tt few ask if i wanna play. den got in the game for awhile. dear saw me inside, he blew his top off. hahas. yarhs. i guess i'm the one being selfish n crapp. i'm owaes the one. why wont u use ur fucking brain to think? usually i get into gb aft u do. u tell me u're jealous of ur frens. cushh when they play, even though their gerfrens dun like playing gb, they oso play together wif them. u're envious. hahas. den u tell me u're so disappointed so sad to see tt ur own gerfren doesnt even wanna play wif u. eh!! do u use game to prove how good ur ger is?? if tts the way u wanna let others noe how good ur ger is, then lets break up. i'm sorry larhs. i'm not like other gers. i've my own freedom to choose wad i wanna do. i dun haf to listen to others all the time. i reali dunno wads wif gb. since u think AND u feel tt GUNBOUND IS IMPORTANT den get out of my life. i dun needa boifren who loves to play games and get angry wif me bcos i dun play wif him when i'm in the game and i hell no need a boifren who let others know how good the gerfren is through a bloody computer game. if tts the way u wanna let others noe how good i am, den scram off larhs. u think i like getting angry?? u think i like crying?? i tell u larhs. i totally hate crying. i totally hate getting angry. everytime aft a fight wif u, no matter its my fault or ur fault, i'll spend the rest of the nite thinking and crying to myself telling me its all my fault. how can i change for the better. but now. well. everything seems useless. u think i like giving u restrictions?? i nv say u cant play gunbound. but please haf some control. u've to work the next day n u're playing gunbound and slping at 1am. do u noe how worried i am?? fuck larhs. why am i saying all these when i noe its all my fault. hahas. well well. very well. since u are so jealous of ur other frens for having such good gerfrens, den go get one of these kinda gerfrens. i'm not like them. i need time to search for sth more realistic. i need frens. i need time for revision and stuff. i'm not borned clever. i need time for my studies. too bad. blame myself for making my gerfrens dislike me. now i've got not even one pathetic true fren. i need time to search for one. the feeling without a fren reali sucks. i've lost some frens. i dun wanna lose anymore. or shld i say. i've got no more to lose. i needa spend time making new frens. and lemme tell u once and for all. if u cant stop getting jealous over ur frens for having such good gerfrens, den well. lets break up. i'm serious tis time. i've got no regrets of wad i've say. i'm hurt once. hurt twice. hurt thrice. hurt so many god-damn times. its time i make a final decision whether to carry on or to gif up. i love u. i truly love u. but well. i love u doesnt mean i'm gonna let u hurt me time and time again. i dun like when nights come n haf me crying myself to slp. the feeling sucks if u noe. wadever it is. if u can bear wif all tis no more, den go. all tis time, i've got no idea of wad u're trying to prove. i've no idea if i'm more impt than gunbound or gunbound's more impt than me. or mayb we're both equally impt to u. i no longer haf the feeling tt i'm impt in ur heart. i'm getting insecure. do u noe? well, i guess u dun. no one ever noe how i reali felt. and tis time, i reali mean it, i reali felt it. in the past, i tot u're the only one who will and who can understand how i felt. but, now, u're proving me wrong. why??
i no longer haf the feeling tt i'm impt in ur heart. i'm getting insecure. do u noe?
hatreds~ i'm giving all up.. lost in 'you'..
[
missed you`]
at
9/08/2004 11:24:00 PM
[[ 296 dAys ]]
hmm. well. did nth much today. fnshed revising wif my science. left wif math hw, reading rites, mt and geog revision bahs. hahas. hmm. sound quite alot arhs? hahahs. well. will try all my very best to fnsh it before friday de. hehes. spent my whole aftn doing science. feeling quite headache. was like. well. having cramps, headaches n didnt had anything to eat until 2 plus 3 in the aftn. was rather hungry since i wake up. but. well. was too engrossed wif my work. and i'm tied down wif it. i realised i'm left wif not much time. yeahs? den went out lorhs.
went out at 1600. wasall alone until abt 1715 bahs. den met jeslyn. den tok tok n slackked at white sands till 1815 den left for our movie at tm. hmm. watch 13 going on 30. well. was not bad a show. hahhas. was laughing my head off at the beginning. but well, was rather sad when it got near to the ending. haiis. learnt sth. must cherish wad u've got now, esp. ur frens. but do be careful wif the frens u make. they might not be true to u. and. of cushh not to regret wad u've done. time will not turn back. nor will time wait for u. so if u've realised tt u shldnt haf done it in the past, no point regretting. just rmb not to make the same mistake n think thrice before u do anything or make any decision. yupps. aft movie, wenta collect jie's movie tickets, den i wenta pierce mua 4th piercing. den went to compass point. jes pierced her nose. den aft tt, we went home lorhs.. hahahs. yupps. tts abt it.
hmm. den aft bathing n everything, its abt 2300 lerr. called dearr. haiis. tok awhile. he wenta play gunbound. haiis. wad's wif gunbound?? one day dun play will die mehs?? haiis. u say no, but u're proving me the opposite. haiis. tmll haf to work, still slp so late bcos of the bloody game. haiis. forget it larhs. i've got nth to say. and will wanna say no more. say until i ownself tired. everytime say until i ownself angry only. haiis. forget it. aft my exams will find sth to occupy myself de. hurrs~
well well well. gonna go den. sians sians de. du lans sia. hahhas. nites. take care. miss ya~
[
missed you`]
at
9/08/2004 01:34:00 AM
Monday, September 06, 2004
[[ 294 dAys ]]
well. today? hmm. earli morn woke up. revise science. den went out at abt 1230. meet dearr. den went to sgh. den left sgh at abt 1630 bahs. yarhs. den aft tt, wenta down town east eat dinner. den dearr go play initial d wif linkin n deshun. den aft tt, i went h0me l0rhs. ahhas. hmm. on the way back was damn funny. a zarb0r fell on darling. hahhas. dearr s0 lucky nehs. was a cute cute zarb0r. hahas. darling s0 lucky nehs. hahhas. yarhs. tts abt it bahs. haiis. feeling damn sick lo0rhs. haiis. am i falling sick?? well. i dunn0. haf n0 idea nehs. haiis. s0 sians. my mo0d.. i os0 dunn0 h0w t0 describe. hahahs. its like. haiis. sians. well well well~ i'm g0nna g0 off le larhs. my mo0d n0 go0d. haiis. just wanna die or sth lidat. haiis. buais~
[
missed you`]
at
9/06/2004 10:27:00 PM
Sunday, September 05, 2004
hmm. b 0 r e d. slept 12 hours straight. hahahs. hmm. den slept in the aftnoon os0. hahas. super tired nehs. hahas. actuali n0t larhs. but i cant control when i get on my sweet n comfy bed. hahas. hmm. well. did nth much today. slackked. hmm. everybody's jealous of mua nails. hahas. even mua da jie nehs. hahas. l0ve liping!! hahhas. hmm. well. woke up at cl0se t0 2pm. watch tv. use c0m. eat. t0k on f0ne. den slept at 4.30pm. hahas. w0ke up at 6pm lidat. den slackked until n0w. just realised its only 1940. time's flying so slowly t0day. b0rred. well. plan f0r tmll is cancelled. s0 sians. hahahs. well. mayb meeting j0yna. have n0 idea. g0tta call her. hahas. if n0t, tmll i'll peii darling t0 cgh. he've g0t appointment. haiis. hmm. needa study hard. i'm planning t0 use the h0ls t0 catch up wif th0se less0ns which i use t0 slp n stuff. hahahs. hmm. tuesday meeting jeslyn f0r a m0vie. 13 going on 30. den catching movies wif darling on sat. g0ing f0r the terminal n anacondas. hahahs. co0l. one love movie. one acti0n m0vie. hahhs. i guess i'll be scare by tt blo0dy big n l0ng snake. hhahs. hmm. i've g0t n0 idea wad t0 d0 later. guess i'll be revising my science bahs. i'm interested in science t0day. but i've been havign terrible headache since i wake up. perhaps my body is not use t0 it bahs. awhile dun slp dun slp. awhile sleep too much. hhaas. sick. i think tis sat if i t0n, sure can t0ng one. hahas. hmm. well. g0nna g0 ler bahs. g0nna g0 bathe. hahahs. take care guys. muacks~
[
missed you`]
at
9/05/2004 07:31:00 PM
[[ 293 dAys ]]
hmm. its just a new day. 10 mins just past. hmm. let me bring ya back to the past, saturday 04 september 2004.
CVSS Open House~
hmm. well. reached school at abt 0830. was super shag. just imagine urself sleeping only 2 to 3 hours everyday for one whole week n u'll noe how shag u can be. okies. earli morning, nicholas got wet. cushh of me. i was playing the water balloon aall ardd. trying to get nicholas n zisheng wet. tt 2 gays. hahas. hmm. well. aft all those preparation n stuff, the party officially start at 1100. weets~ hahas. hmm. aiai's parents came. hahahs. her brother was definitely taller than her. but the 2 doesnt look alike. hehes. hmm. all the while, aiai, me, chrystle, joclyn haf been slackking. didnt do much work. sat on the benches placed bhind our stores, tok tok n stuff. leon n gang sat directly opp us n kept staring into our direction. they laughed so loud, talked so loud. sucha a.s. sheesh~ hmm. den i wenta walked ardd. actuali wanna do henna painting de. but the person say it'll take 1 hour plus to dry. so. well. gave up the idea of henna painting. den walked. liping asked if i wanna do nail art or not. well. sat down n do. lotsa pple say it looks damn nice. hmm. must see who do mahs. l0lss. well. while doing, one chinese ger from jeremiah's class 3a asked liping if she noe me. she say i attitude, xialan. say i very lucky le, nv kena whack by her. den liping helped me. say dun eat small. den liping oso say if she wanna find trouble wif me, she help me. hahhas. feeling a little weirded. cushh i dunno liping nehs. as in. i noe who she is. but i dunno how is she overall other than looks. she oso haf 3 piercings on each side. n 1 on the nose. she loves tattoos. hahas. yupps. and she's from 3b. tts wad i noe. hehes. so lidat lorhs. aft tt. hannie came den went off le. hmm. feeling damn great. ya noe why?? hehehs. hmm. anthony, 1g's class i/c dedicated "yi shi de mei hao" for me. so cool nehs? hahas. i'm lurving it!!
left the school at abt 1230 bahs. den wenta find linkin for the tickets. aft tt, wenta ps to pass jie her ticket. den walked ardd wif dearr. den slackked. den went to pasir ris to eat dinner. hahas. eat le, slackked le den he sent me home aft we better than before~
yupps. well. guess gonna end here. tis abt the open house is sucha disgrace. hahahs. well. take care guys. enjoyed yeahs?? muacks~
[
missed you`]
at
9/05/2004 12:09:00 AM
Saturday, September 04, 2004
haiis. wads wif me. i'm still awake. tts so sick. hahhas. on fone wif him now. he didnt slp too. haiis. well. feeling very disappointed though. very sad as well. haiis. things haf nv been going well for me. and for him. our relationship is going thru some sickening parts which makes us wanna gif up. time to time, we'll take turn to think abt it. actually, the both of us think abt it. and sort things out. but well. we still talk abt break up. haiis. feeling reali sad. oreadi in tears. silently crying. things were nv the same as before. things changed so much. tt i cudnt recognised tt its actuali my past. well. hang up ler. hope he reali got onto his bed n sleep. at times, i reali wonder to myself if i shld just let go of him or shld continue holding on. i've nv wanted to gif up. i've nv. but there's no way i cud cheer him up. instead of cheering him up, i've got him more sad, more depressed n stuff. i oreadi haf no idea of wad to do. bcos i'm as tired too. losing sleep, losing appetite n losing concentration in class reali kills. wads more~ we've been quarreling the whole week. wad were we both trying to prove? tis game is no fun. just stop it. haiis. well. i've got tis msg from him. saying:
"The letdowns n problems have gotten the best of me. No longer can I carry on to fight, even putting a smile on my face leaves me weary. The ones I try to keep by my side are never there for me. Loneliness is but my only friend. I’m thinking of giving up. Life itself bears no more meaning. I dun look forward to tomorrow. There’s nothing there for me anymore……"
i've got no idea of how to solve it. cushh i myself is in a dilemma. wondering wad can i do. lotsa unhappy stuffs haf been happening. it reali affected me loads. haiis. perhaps... i'll nv noe~
[
missed you`]
at
9/04/2004 03:59:00 AM
`*friday.
school.`* well. dumb. was feeling dumb. hahas. well. i dunno how to react when kumar tok to dad. hahas. she was praising me thruout the whole conversation she had wif my dad. i was dumbstruck. hhahas. hmm. was wondering if i hear wrongly or wad. but well. i noe i'm not. but feeling kinda sad. my dad doesnt seem to bother abt the remarks kumar gif. isnt tt saddening?? hahhas. haiis. fine. dun bother larhs. haiis. hmm.. well. failed math. the others were perfectly okies. above avg. very happy ler. only needa buck up for math. haiis. sians. well. den lidat l0rhs. overall, wad i cud say is tt scho0l's b o r e d!!
t0wn.`* hmm. went down to meritus mandarin hotel. to0k p0rt f0li0. cool nehs. hahhas. the guy was gay. ahahs. very gay nehs. "haii!" hahas. tts wad he cud say in japanese. sucha gay. cant stand it. hahas. hmm. well. den make up n everything l0rhs. so gay hors? hahas. hmm. well. tis is the third time i'm putting up so thick make-up. hahahs. sick man. but well. i find tt i look nicer when the make up is not so thick bahs.. when the other lady help me to lighten the make up a little, i feel tt i look more human. hhahas. hmm. just waiting for 19092004 to arrive. gonna go collect mua pictures. hahas. hmm. well. chose 3 nice pictures. hhahahs. hmm. den aft the photo taking thingy, wenta heeren n cine. toked to alicia, kelly n mindy for quite some time yeahs?? yupps. den went down to pasir ris n look for dearr. met him, tok cock. relax. all i noe is tt i enjoyed myself. but. haiis. we quarrrelled again. kinda fucked up yeahs? things reali nv go good for me de. haiis~ sick. i hate my life. serious. i hate my life. i hate myself. haiis~ life sucks yeahs?? hahhas.
well. dear's still in gunbound now. mayb i'm going in for awhile too. reali cant slp. and well. i'm just tired. hhahas. today's not my day. tis past week sucks totally. nth good happened. all tt has happened were bad stuffs. pissed. haiis. well well. gonna go le. gonna stay awake for awhile more bahs. den can slp i go slp. if not den.. haiis. stay awake bahs.. anws. school's open hse is held tmll. me morning shift one. sick. guess i'll show colourful mood swings. hahas. well. good nites. take care.
life sucks.
i find nth tt reali worth living for.
quarrels wif the one i love.
misunderstanding wif him.
all kinda crapp.
why is tis so?
god~ tell me!!
a sadden n heart brokened me. a ger filled wif nth but hatreds in life.
[
missed you`]
at
9/04/2004 02:10:00 AM
Friday, September 03, 2004
well~ a new day has begin some time ago. haiis. quarrelled. and well. tis is reali jialat. haiis. i'm reali sadd. very sad. wad's wif all these crap? i dunno. things just got betta, but now all my dreams n hopes vanished. shldnt haf call him. regretted.. full of regrets. reali. if i didnt call, will tis quarrel haf started? i ask myself. i dunno. i'm reali confused now. i needa rest~ buais~
god made me live in regrets.
i've nvr been treated by anyone fairly.
no one exactly knows how i feel..
not even you.
i tot u're the guy i cud rely on,
but i'm wrong.
haf u ever put urself into my shoes??
i dun like u doing sth which u dun allow me to do.
until now,
i guess...
we're gonna be over soon. SOON~
[
missed you`]
at
9/03/2004 01:28:00 AM
